Pigshit and Glowing

by Steve Slagg

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1.
Boy Who are you? I see you Boy Who am I? I want you When I see you, boy What I see is static Broken lines When I hear your voice All I hear is feedback Squeal and whine I want to feel you near but boy we’re nowhere Boy What is this? And who in the hell am I? And who in the hell are you? And who in the hell left us alone? I don't know where I am now Or where I'm gonna go Whoever brought me here will have to take me home When I see your face All my saints adore you Casting down All their shining crowns to the glassy sea before you I came, I saw, I wanted I wanted, I saw, I came I came, I saw, I wanted I wanted, I saw, I came I came, I saw, I wanted I wanted, I saw, I came © 2011 Steve Slagg
2.
I drove with you through Craters of the Moon We fought about the air conditioning We didn’t know your time was comin’ soon If we had we might have acted differently Well anyway, we had the windows down And the lava rocks were sharp against the sky I couldn’t tell pahoehoe from a’a Looking back on that I can’t imagine why All the while The ground itself had bubbled Beneath our feet A hundred miles down Eight hundred thousand years ago Its molten heat Had burned a steady pilgrimage to Yellowstone Having lifted up the Cascades and melted Idaho Where you and I, we fought about the radio At Craters of the Moon I knew I’d have to tell this to you soon I still tell you things, even though you’re gone It's Spring, I'm driving back across the moon As I make my way without you to Oregon I think how we were never close nor really far Though I was sitting right beside you in the car Yeah, I was horny, lost and self-effacing You just stared, slack-jawed at God's creation We didn’t know --Lord, how could we have known? That death was bubbling up from underneath your skin And we didn’t know --Lord, how could we have known? That love could make me a stranger to my own blood kin No, like everybody else, we drove to Yellowstone To see the sleeping giant for five minutes and go home And then you went home to North Dakota And so did I, was sittin' right beside you And now I drive West to Portland, Oregon Cos there are things you just beat up until they're gone Like how you went home to Heaven without me And how I'm driving in a car that is empty © 2011 Steve Slagg
3.
Don't tell me I've got it all wrong now Cos I'm a complicated lady I still know the names of the friends I lost When I crossed over the Tiber I used to write lesbian bookworm erotica and no one bothered me then in fact, I got 500 hits a day marched in the Annapolis Pride Parade where we handed out rosaries (It was a joke, I swear) I had this scene on my dresser when I was little Little figurines--like animals and soldiers My own little community There was always one on the outskirts Facing out over the edge of the dresser With his back to the others A little exiled soldier His crime changed from week to week ‘Til they voted him back When he confessed to the others That's when they voted him back So please believe me When I tell you what happened Cos I Barely believed it Myself When I joined the Catholic church Looked kinda funny I was spectacularly butch And Christ says, "This is my body. This is my blood. Put your fingers in the holes in my hands And move them around. Wash my feet with your tears and your hair. Don't save the good perfume. See, I am showing you Beauty." So now I walk On the Feast of Corpus Christi With my head held low Get off my back, I can't explain it I'm still a dyke, don't dare forget it But I've seen beauty in the body Just like the beauty I saw in high school In the library She had auburn hair And a generous smile and she was miraculous to me So now I live the Corpus Christi with the saints and widows And that means I pray and keep my legs closed Cos I think beauty is sequential One points to another: a little exiled soldier and a young woman's laughter two nail holes in plaster ten women walk together tenth week after Easter one following another All the way to the altar And the confessions we make We make them together And when our bodies change We're all changed together To the body of Christ The body of Christ The body of Christ The body of Christ © 2011 Steve Slagg
4.
5.
Love, lay your hands on me Do not leave me alone Love, lay your hands on me Do not leave me alone I need to feel you near Do not leave me alone I need to feel you near Do not leave me alone Come, Holy Spirit, come Press your words into me Come, Holy Spirit, come Press your warmth into me I’ve got such thick skin Press your warmth into me I’ve got such thick skin Press your words into me Friends, lift me up so I So that I can see light Church, lift me up so I So that I can see light It gets so dark in here Lift me up in the light It gets so dark in here Lift me up in the light © 2011 Steve Slagg
6.
Brother, I miss you tonight I remember nights in the city We walked with Jeff Through Boystown to iO You read a sonnet about Kant on the mainstage Del Close’s ashes laughed the loudest You solved the problem of evil the next morning at breakfast And nobody noticed Well, brother, we need you tonight! I remember you comin’ in from the fields Covered in pigshit and glowing Jody was pregnant, it was weird You still looked twelve And Jody looked maybe fifteen and a half But her belly could’ve passed for 20 Dan made the joke But you made it funny Stephen, I need you tonight No one else thought this place was as crazy We lay with Jeff on the floor on your birthday All night Lay for hours and talked about How things would never be All right Lay for hours and talked about How we would never be the same Then we talked about a man Who kneeled down in front of a train The month we were born It made us angry Why would you do that? We said. He had the same name as us. That’s weird. Birthday balloons were sinking softly all around us It was 6AM, Jeff got up and made breakfast Christopher We miss you tonight Every relative here looks just like you Dakota does too He’s almost two Jody still looks fifteen and a half She’s still pretty and smiling She’s smiling, I promise In fact Everybody here is smiling, look at us Dan just made a joke That wasn’t very funny Well, brothers Brothers, we miss you tonight © 2011 Steve Slagg
7.
We knew it wouldn't last forever We knew it all along We said that it would last forever When we started But we knew that we were wrong It didn't take long Twenty years Eyes shut tight Fingers in our ears And they were beautiful years: Cause you and i We were different Yeah, you and I We were strong And you and I We were different Yeah, you and I We were strong We were sittin' in church Our tiny Liberal Methodist Chicago church With the rainbow on the door Holding hands Like always Leaning in close Like always Andrea made fun of us at the passing of the peace Like always And every single one of us had a smile on our face Like always We sang, "In Christ there Is No East or West" Then Pastor Denise With her purple sweater vest Said, "Please get to your feet for the reading of the Word." The reading of the Word That's when we heard But you and I We were different Yeah, you and I We were strong And you and I We were different Yeah, you and I We were strong And our bodies floated Like a ribbon Like single ribbon In the air And our bodies floated Like a ribbon Like a fine, silk ribbon In the air And it didn't take long Twenty years Strange gifts A faithfulness brings And they never told us Not for twenty years That God Would give and take so many things Would give and take so many things Would give and take so many things Like the green from the trees Or a sparrow's broken wing When we put silver on our ring That's when we heard the voice sing

about

for complete stories and liner notes, go to: youngestsonmusic.com/pigshitandglowing

credits

released April 14, 2011

all songs written by Steve Slagg
except Baby, We'll Be Fine by Matt Berninger, Aaron Dessner, Bryce Dessner, Scott Devendorf, Bryan Devendorf

Steve Slagg - piano, vocals

recorded at First Presbyterian Church, Glen Ellyn IL
engineered, mixed and mastered by Blade Barringer
artwork by Blade Barringer

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Steve Slagg Chicago, Illinois

God-haunted, gay-of-center weird singer-songwriter with death problems

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